The last stand

At the risk of sounding like an insensitive clod, I have absolutely no sympathy for Toronto Blue Jays fans.

True, the Jays are wrapping up a season that will mark the 17th NFL jerseys straight year of missing the playoffs. But there's no excuse for the embarrassingly low crowd counts at Rogers Centre in September and as the Jays wrap up their home schedule this weekend, there are plenty of good reasons to head to the ballpark one more time before the snow flies and the Leafs begin to break your heart.

1. Friday night, Jays fans who profess their love for Roy Halladay get the chance to see the Doc operate for (where have we heard this before?) what could be the final time at home in a Jays uniform.

I know, I know...that card was already tossed around like an over-ripe salad at the trade deadline. However, a deal for Doc could go down over the winter and if you miss Halladay's start against the Mariners on Friday, you'll be kicking yourself when he reports for spring training in February wearing Cardinals colours...or Red Sox...or White Sox.

You know the drill.

2. With the Mariners in town, Halladay won't be the only future Hall-of-Famer on the field this weekend.

The Mighty Ichiro brings his magical bat to Toronto having just set a Major League record by chalking up 200 hits for the ninth consecutive season; and he's put up those impressive numbers with a highly unorthodox swing.

"If you were teaching a kid how to hit, you'd never ask them to copy Ichiro," said Rogers Sportsnet analyst Pat Tabler. "But he's got the best hand-eye co-ordination of any hitter you're ever going to see."

Like Halladay, unfortunately, Ichiro has had the misfortune of playing for a mediocre ball club over the years. In fact, the only time he's been to the post-season was during his 2001 rookie campaign.

And how did Ichiro do?

He played 10 games and hit a cool .421; just another routine performance for one of the true legends of the game.

3. There was a time when Blue Jays fans believed that Vernon Wells was on his way to becoming a living legend. Then, he put his name on a certain seven-year, $126 -million dollar contract, and the rest (along with his bat) was history.

But just when you thought you'd have one final opportunity this season to bash V-Dub for his big bucks and small production, he goes on a sudden tear and has been the hottest hitter in the majors since September 6th.

So, with that in mind, be prepared to give Vernon his due when you heckle him this weekend.

"You suck, Wells! Except, of course, when the games are meaningless and we're 30 games out of first place!"

4. While you wonder where Wells has been all season, you can also play a rousing rendition of "Where's Waldo?" during the Jays-Mariners series.

For the purposes of this exercise, we'll call it "Where's the Beest?" as people keep their eyes peeled for Jays interim CEO Paul Beeston.

There is a catch, however.

Beeston, you see, is said to be on vacation.

Geesh!

Even the team’s CEO doesn't want to stick around and watch these guys play.

In Beeston's defence, there are reports that he's finally found someone willing to become the fulltime president and let's hope he's spending some of his holiday time finalizing a deal with the poor sap...uh, make that saviour.

Still, interim boss or not, it's a lousy message to skip town for the final home stand of the year while asking fans to come out and support a club going nowhere.

5. Finally, the best reason of all to head to Rogers Centre this weekend.

With the Jays at home for the final time this year, Toronto fans can at least be thankful that they don't have to watch the Argos.